Sweet Devotio…oh to what though?
Latin derivative devotio: (Christian) piety, devotion, zeal. What are you devoted to? You’re not devoted to anything you say? Check again. You’re living it out right now. What do you have a zeal for? Where is your heart?
Are you devoted to reality or merely an image of who you believe yourself to be? Are you the “good girl” or the “bad boy”? The hero? The martyr? The hipster? The loser? The adult-child? The caretaker?
If you label others easily, chances are you’ve got the bug too. Do you knowingly play a role or have you turned a more horrible corner so that now the role plays you? Do you move from role to role and call it growth while it is merely substitution? Does the current role include accoutrements to be acquired and then more still? Do you understand why we have the word ‘trappings’?
Can you admire and enjoy things, then detach and let go, or does envy and covetousness creep into your heart easily? Does the need to have and possess things lead to worrying about and keeping those things? Then finally becoming a slave to them. Are you a slave to or the master of things? Do you understand clearly that it is the love of money (ergo things) that is the root of all evil and not money (hence things) itself?
So just where is your heart? What are you devoted to? Are you an adult who just can’t, actually just refuses to conceive of yourself as an adult? Psssst…if you can hang on to the image that you are a child, then you never have to take on the responsibility of an adult. You can ride that one out indefinitely. You just have to find “the caretaker” and hope they don’t grow up either! To grow up, mature and ripen may require periods of aloneness.
Only then are we ready to emerge and make genuine contact with another. The rose will open when ready. Leave it be. Aloneness is very different from loneliness. With loneliness there still remains a neediness, a childish cry for support. Be first alone, then you shall be prepared to meet another fully.
So just where is your heart? What are you devoted to? Where do you place your attention? What do you treasure the most? “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6:19-21
Watch the ongoing battle between self-deception versus awakening to the fullness of who you actually are. Stop playing games and come to your senses! This coming to one’s senses, being who you truly are, involves pulling back the veil of illusion.
Letting go of an image of yourself is not easy however once you start, life unfolds with a sweetness never known. Explode into authenticity and richness of being. Begin to truly feel, taste and experience the world and others. Recognize your needs. Don’t play roles/games to satisfy them.
Be real before you demand the same of others. Say what you mean and mean what you say. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. How perfectly beautiful!