During the meditation process, we may observe a past event where we wronged another. This event will remain active, and return again during meditation, as long as the accompanying sting from that event remains.
Intentional or not, a wrong was committed for which there was likely remorse. Forgiveness and restitution have possibly been sought and granted. Beyond that, it is no longer your concern, but that certain sting may remain.
This sting is a residue due to one’s reluctance or inability to completely let go of the event and move forward. True freedom results when detachment occurs. Our goal is to first alleviate, then completely remove the emotional quality associated with this event without forcefulness.
The use of force has probably denied complete healing from taking place. When we isolate the offending thought and become truly objective and able to look at the event dispassionately and without effort, the sting will surely dissipate.
Continuing to torment oneself is both energy draining and self destructive. In the present moment all is new and possible, unless one persists in carrying this crippling memory forward. Forgive yourself! How can you possibly forgive others, yet somehow remain unforgivable yourself? How does one accomplish this? In a calm, centered meditative state, observe AND clearly separate the observer from the observed.
When possession of the thought is relinquished, the sting is removed as well. You are not the thought nor it’s accompanying emotion. Let go! The event can not be undone and was necessary for you to learn, grow and acquire wisdom. Learn your lesson and be done with it! Use the technique found here to apply a soothing balm!