comments: “fear of people in business selling oneself short..”
We will examine this topic suggestion from several angles. The absence of fear of any sort would be evidence of one’s ability to remain present moment based. In this state, past and future cease to exist, thus fear is the result of anticipatory thinking. With the ego using all past fearful experiences as a frame of reference and the eager imagination (which revels in catastrophic images) fueling the process, paralyzing fear is sure to arrive. The fear of “selling oneself short” in business (or life itself for that matter) would never even arise if one remained firmly in the here and now.
Why the need to “sell oneself” at all? As if you were but a commodity to be bartered and sold. Allow others to view themselves in this manner if they wish. Let your focus be the unselfish serving of others.
Regardless of the type of business or profession, if a priority is placed on serving others, your status within your organization or field will grow as a matter of course. Whether providing a service, product or creative solutions to the problems of others, your unbending commitment to serving the customer/client will be all that is needed.
Instead of expending vital energy attempting to impress others while in the process creating anxiety and doubt in living up to their expectations, consider re-directing that energy towards the fulfillment of your customer or client’s needs. Derive satisfaction from assisting them and improving their quality of life. With this attitude there will be no need to “sell” anything to anyone and your integrity will remain intact.
comments: “Often, when attempting to fulfill desires, I have periods of time where things go extremely well, and others where, in spite of my best efforts, I have a hard time making any progress… I’d like to see some mention of this in an upcoming article, what causes it and what to do about it”.
It is your ego that “attempts” to fulfill desires. The inner self has to be trained through meditation to observe the ego’s striving. Our intent is to remove the ego from the proceedings and eliminate effort in the manifesting of desires.
When one finishes a meal, does one “attempt” to digest the food? One need not consciously move the food, trigger stomach secretions and continually check on the progress. It all happens effortlessly because of the organism’s intelligence. While there is no conscious “attempt” involved, the desire (assimilation of this food) is nonetheless fulfilled.
Extending this line of thought, once the seed of desire is planted in the mind’s eye, attachment to the means by which this desire is to be fulfilled should be released. Effort is evidence of the ego’s involvement. Using the mind’s eye technique and not disturbing the flow of the universal intelligence will result in the desire’s fulfillment.
Delays in the desire’s attainment may be a blessing in disguise. Perhaps there is a lesson to be learned or greater patience to be cultivated. Is there a hidden resentment that needs to be revealed and released before the desire’s fulfillment can arrive?
When “things go extremely well” be grateful! When they don’t, be grateful as well, as there is something to be learned and further maturation needed.
Be aware not to become enamored with your successes as your ego will tend to want to “take credit”, thereby blocking further flow. Stagnation occurs when the ego gets trapped in its own triumphs, when in fact a number of seemingly random events and circumstances beyond the ego’s control conspired to fulfill the desire.
The “progress” you refer to is based on whose timetable? The ego’s or the universe? Try not to judge your progress as if you could somehow control the infinite number of universal influences. Stay out of the way, put away your timepiece and be dazzled by the natural unfolding that occurs.
Remember also that your forcing actually pushes away. Receive the flow as you would an oncoming stream. Grasping at the water and attempting to hold it will leave you with the resulting fistfull of… nothing.
comments:”we are all one …there is no separation…”
Consider thinking in terms of the sun and the ocean. At what point is the sun ray separate from the sun or the ocean wave separate from the ocean? In either case, is it possible to isolate the ray or wave from its source?
Though seemingly separate, the sun ray and ocean wave remain part of their source. In this same way, if the assumption is that you and I have a common source or creator, then although seemingly separate we are indeed one. We are merely different expressions of the same source. Different colors emanating from the same light.
comments:”A suggestion for a topic, how about that feeling of Eeeebeeee Geeeee beee’s… you know the one that when you are near a person they feel creepy? What would that be all about? And why it feels creepy being near them?”
Thank you for the topic suggestion to which all can relate.
I would like to approach this from two sources; within and without. Let me give you a scenario. You are five years old and violated in some way by a stranger. This violation may be physical, verbal or merely a glance with intent. Having the pure openness of a child, the violation’s impact is felt. This event is for whatever reason (lack of a trusting family environment or support system, intense shyness, etc) repressed. Somewhere deep within, a sensory fragment or snippet of the episode is retained. Perhaps it is the flash of an image, a sound or even a smell.
Years, even decades pass. Layer upon layer of memories follow. The event is seemingly forgotten. Only seemingly.
Years later you find yourself at a party. You are simply introduced to someone who has never been in your presence. You know nothing of their history or character. Yet you immediately feel uneasy and they seem to “creep” you out. Logically you have no basis for reacting this way. Something ever so subtle that your conscious mind may have missed in the interaction has nonetheless been picked up by the your subconscious mind.
A scent, their gait, tone of voice, inflection of voice, an article of clothing, a certain posture, the shape of their face. There are numerous possibilities to consider. This subtle “something” instantly produces a match to the event years ago. The event is so repressed, you are left with the uneasiness but without a specific cause. You only know that you wish this person to be out of your presence.
This event may appear in the dream state for further review. Or it may even produce a recurring dream. It will often appear during meditation in the form of undigested material, as the daily meditation process allows for the numerous layers of accumulated material to be peeled back, examined and released.
The other source of this creepiness is from without. The actual person you encounter. Him or herself.
Again we may use the stranger at the party. A simple introduction occurs and the uneasiness you sense is instantaneous. Direct communication is somehow impaired. You are genuine and open and that creates uneasiness in the other person. They feel as though you see right through them and they sense it profoundly. This may be why some are uneasy around children.
This stranger is possibly hiding something either consciously or unconsciously. Your directness is painfully felt as threatening and their response to your solid stance is uneasiness and even anxiety. A reflecting process takes place as the uneasiness is transferred to you. This can all occur instantaneously.
Rely on first impressions if you must, but be aware to check that this first impression is in the now, and not a re-impression of an event years ago.
comments:”If I don’t go with my thoughts, then will I not get bored or remain in one place in life?”
Thank you for your question.
I wish to distinguish between your choice to “go with” or remain objective to your thoughts. When a thought arises and you are centered, you are able to remain objective to and separate from the incoming thought. The thought seen this way holds no emotional sway over the observer. Each and every disturbing or repetitive thought you have, can be dealt with swiftly and decisively in this manner.
If I were to say or do something that angered you and you were to “go with” the thought that immediately arises, you may strike out at me. Or perhaps the thought would arise and instead of striking, your anger would fester to the point of resentment which only harms the holder of such a toxin.
Now you are even less prepared to effectively deal with any further conflict. You have been knocked off balance and rendered incapable of facing this or succeeding situations from a calm perspective.
Subsequent events in your day will be easily influenced by this original event. The resentment returns time and time again and causes a sting as you continue to react emotionally to an event which occurred in the past. Yet ultimately you are responding in the now to an event that exists in the past only. There is no longer a reality to the event but your mind battles fiercely as if it is actually in the present.
By going with your thoughts in this example, contrary to “being bored or remaining in one place in life”, you are likely to find that you are pulled almost hypnotically to an area that often brings disharmony and anxiety. Finding yourself in this space and further off balance, you are now likely to respond even more erratically to other people, places and things. The chain of emotional responses remains intact.
Rewinding to the original incident where my words or deeds have caused your responding thought; if you were instead to see this thought as clearly separate from yourself (recalling the fact that because one can clearly observe a thought, a duality exists with both the thought AND the observer of the thought) then you would be able to prevent responding in a potentially harmful way.
My actions will not leave a lasting impression when you calmly and in the moment respond in an appropriate manner. It may be forgiving on the spot or overlooking entirely. Your response will be determined intuitively. My ability to control or influence you in a negative way has ceased.
Surely there are those in your life who seem to maintain an ability to “get under your skin” simply because you choose (and be aware that it clearly is a choice) to “go with” these thoughts that arise when in their presence.
Ironically these individuals are often your greatest teachers of patience and are also quite useful in seeing the positive effects your meditative practice. Your sincere and continual morning discipline of using the simple technique outlined at will most certainly assist you in gaining this type of mastery.
Being “bored or remaining in the same place” may also be symptomatic of being locked into loops of self-defeating thoughts. Genuine response in the moment when one is free of the slavery of negative thoughts, will define itself as growth and movement.
comments: The quality of life is directly proportional to the amount of uncertainty one can handle.
Thank you for your thoughtful suggestion.
That is a profound statement on its own but I will attempt to take it further using extremes. Quality of life is so bandied about but ever relative.
The 4 year old child who is cold and hungry in some war-torn country faces such grave uncertainty moment by moment. To that child being rescued to a safe and warm haven to be embraced by someone who cares, transform their “quality of life” quite radically. Relative to the immediate and very real dangers faced earlier, this haven could provide all the quality of life and contentment they ever desired. Being safe here and now.
Halfway around the world, the regimented business person whose creature comforts and rigid schedule leaves them with some sense of “certainty” through 2003, angrily curses a missed golf shot. They may rarely experience a content smile or feel a profound sense of quality in their lives, but they are absolutely certain they will attend a meeting at 9:30 am on Oct 3rd in Toledo.
The vast majority of us lie somewhere in the middle. Not fearing for our bodily lives at each second, nor having meticulously pre- planned our next ten months of waking time on the planet. For most of us uncertainty is brought upon ourselves because of the way we choose to operate and have our being in the world.
Uncertainty can only exist with anticipatory thought. When we remain present moment based and limit reference to past and future; what is just IS, and it IS absolutely certain. As we anticipate and play out on our mind’s stage the myriad of potential reactions to our planned actions, uncertainty increases by volumes.
Catastrophic thinking may ensue causing anxiety and fearfulness which certainly lowering the quality of our lives. This is not a chicken or egg thing. Right now most of us can choose the certainty of the present moment or choose future thoughts laden with uncertainty.
What is more certain than the fact that you are? And that for all your planning, plotting and anticipatory thinking, who you are right now is all you can experience. Changes naturally occur when one stays in the present moment. There is continual self discovery. Does a flower experience uncertainty whether it will grow or not? So shall you rely on the unfolding and blooming of the self simply by being here now.
Meditate daily for self renewal and to find your center. Carry through your waking hours that certainty and focus. Find your inner self and allow a natural unfolding. Fret not and uncertainty will find not find a home within you. An ever present half smile on your face will attest to an unspeakable quality of being. Quality of Life. Quality of your life and those who surround you.
comments: “I have meditated for quite some time now (with various techniques) and sometimes I feel peaceful and at times my excess baggage e.g. fear, worry, anger and lust creeps up. My problem is fear and worry (the 2 demons out there) even though I meditate & let go of whatever happens to be & be with the moment.
My day to day live is still filled with fear and worry – of say death, going blind, death of loved ones (the thought is SCARY) and at times an overdose of worry about any thought, desire or literally whatever….and YES i am exhausted battling my own mind (which i was advised against but my stubborn self is not letting go)…
So what do you suggest i do?”
Thank you for your question. Continue meditating. There is no timetable to follow here. There is no need to judge your progress. Your ego wants you to master the mediation process quickly. It is not a game to be mastered but rather a process that with the passage of time and discipline, will become effortless and your ability to still your mind will increase.
Your “excess baggage” will creep up during the meditation process as well. The difference is meditating allows you to view the baggage without picking it up and carrying it off with yourself. View this baggage from a point of objectivity; seeing the baggage as clearly separate from the self which views the baggage.
Try to gently view this “fear, worry, anger and lust” dispassionately. Simply watch the assault of imagery float across the screen of your mind without being pulled into the screen. As if they were succeeding movie clips unrelated to your life. Don’t avoid or struggle with these images. Merely watch them, all the while aware they are not you.
When you are truly in the moment, fear and worry cannot touch you for they require past and future thought. Anticipating future events and the consequences of your past actions, catapult you from the safety of the present. Once knocked off balance and removed from your center, these images you speak of now absorb your attention. You then come under their hypnotic power. Should this occur, simply realize it is happening and return to the present moment.
This will occur countless times so don’t keep a scorecard. It is the ego that wants to puff you up when you to win and berate you when you lose. The ego uses these polarities to keep you under its spell.
For certain you are “exhausted battling my own mind “. That is one battle you will not win. Better to make the choice to not engage in war, rather watch this mind with steady detachment. It will not attack first. When you are centered and balanced it can’t penetrate. When you leave your center and enter its confines, retreating is difficult indeed. Watch from a safe distance. The mind will use its powerful influences to draw you in where you will be subject to its whims.
You mention that sometimes you feel peaceful during the meditation process. Attempt to draw upon that experience as you face challenges throughout your day. Use a focal point, perhaps the breath or the calm awareness of your hand(s) to center yourself whenever you feel as if your “day to day life is still filled with fear and worry”.
Ask yourself just “who is it that is experiencing this fear and worry?”. Realize you are not the fear and worry but very separate. By realizing this and also being aware that you are choosing to become involved in this fear and worry, you shall become aware that you can choose to place your attention on the present moment.
comments: “It is said that everything happening in one’s life is predestined. Is it true? Though I seem to agree, sometimes I am in doubt. The logic put forth for everything being predestined is that we do not have control over anything from birth to death. The kind of parents, the type of environment in which one grows up, the education one takes up, profession, marriage and ultimately death; one does not know when one is going to die.
Why it confuses me is; if everything is predestined, what happens to the choices I make, are they also predestined? If they are, how am I supposed to live my life, only by observing, then when do I get to act? ”
Thank you for your comments. You indicate that “It is said that everything happening in one’s life is predestined”, so first I would ask who said it and by what/whose authority was it uttered? Only you know what rings true deep within and when you only “seem” to agree, doubt is sure to enter the picture.
If at times you agree that water is wet, then at other times have doubt that it is, then it would be logical to say that you are not certain; that you do not know water is wet. Which is fine of course because one ultimately knows what they know and not one iota more. To extend this illustration to your comments, it is simply fine to say you do not know if everything is predestined.
So where are we now? Choosing to ponder if life is predestined is indeed something you choose to do in the now. Every moment you exercise that choice, you are choosing to do so in the moment. As simply as if I were to ask you at this precise moment to choose to visualize a brilliant blue sky.
Did you choose to visualize a brilliant blue sky? If you did (or didn’t for that matter), do you realize that was a choice you made in the moment?
Would it matter whether you were predestined to read a newsletter asking you to visualize a brilliant blue sky and whether you were predestined to choose to do so or not? What is… is.
Did you choose to arrive in material form at this particular time to these particular parents for a reason? Can you learn any less from these “teachers” whether this arrival was predestined or not? What is….is.
You note that “If they (choices) are (predetermined) how am I supposed to live my life, only by observing, then when do I get to act?” The dinner you consumed last night; did you willfully act to digest it or did this just happen using the unconscious intelligence of the body?
You are consciously and unconsciously acting upon inner and outer directives constantly. Realize that you are getting to “act”; choosing to “act” upon these directives at every moment. For every action, a reaction. Be aware that (predestined or not) you are making these choices in the present moment. What is….is.
comments: “I’d most appreciate suggested action for the following situation: Everyone knows the economical and social upheaval in Argentina where unemployment has skyrocketed and young people are clumping the Italian and Spanish embassies in a frenzy to leave the country using the double nationality possibility.
What can a 51 years old middle class marriage with three children do in a situation like this? Are they doomed because although professionals they are not young? Please analyze the case thoroughly and send some suggestions which will help people a lot. I believe it is important because what happened in Argentina could blast anywhere else and the reasons should be investigated. And above all good hard working people shouldn’t suffer the tear and wear among corrupt politicians and greedy banks. My apologizes for the nuisances. ”
Thoughtful words are never a nuisance. This web site and newsletter are apolitical, or better still we deal with the “politics” of being. You begin your comments by stating “everyone knows”. Sadly, I’m not convinced that this is the case. We all may have a tendency at times to think locally and ignore globally.
Initially reading your comments produces both immediate feelings of empathy and then ultimately gratefulness. The subject of grateful- ness will return time and time again in these newsletters because of its supreme importance. It is vital that gratefulness be an ongoing practice in our lives. Although I understand that this is not the thrust of your comments, you have illustrated how the world events that take place around us have a profound direct effect on our lives. So much is beyond our control, yet we choose to continue this journey.
“What can a 51 years old middle class marriage with three children do in a situation like this?” Respond from your place of inner strength. Be aware to remain balanced. Respond from your center. The events around you will be ever changing. This we do not control. Our ability to respond (to be response – able) is a choice we are able to make in the moment, every moment.
If there is food to be eaten now, be grateful and nourish your body. If there is a loving household, a spouse or soul mate, receive and cherish their love and be grateful today. Grateful now. If you have been blessed with children, be grateful for their arrival and the gift you have been provided both then and now. If you are part of the “middle class”, one may assume you are employed today. Be grateful for that employment today and apply your trade with honor, whatever it may be.
Leaving your center of being to concern yourself with the future will drain your energy dramatically and will leave you less able to respond when the trials of tomorrow do indeed arrive. And they shall.
Leave tomorrow’s concerns for tomorrow. They will be waiting for you. Instead stay here in the present dealing with what exists now. Cherishing and responding with both sincerity and integrity.
Who knows what events may unfold in Argentina or “anywhere else”; even tomorrow. All one can really do is be here now, both today and tomorrow.
comments: “Occasionally I get a song stuck in my head – and play it over and over like an endless loop. It drives me crazy sometimes! Can you explain why this happens, and the most effective solution for getting rid of it. It’s also annoying to my meditations… ”
Thank you for your comments. Not uncommon. Certain musical notes can stir the mind and soul in a way words can only dream of doing. There is an almost hypnotic element to music that can trigger an emotional response instantly. Witness the power of an anthem to instantly stir feelings of patriotism for example.
These sticky musical loops or threads will often attach themselves to a memory of a joyful, exciting or painful experience. The memory may even be more subtle, such as hearing a song simultaneous to seeing an image that imprints a memory and thus a direct link to the song.
Effective solution? Do nothing. Your attempts to oust this “musical looping” from your meditation only empowers it. Treat the music as you would any other intrusion into the meditative state. Become aware of it and be aware that it is also separate from the self.
Actually “see” the music playing. Observe it. These musical loops may be quite persistent. In time they will lose their ability to disturb. Don’t force.
Whenever you become aware of an “annoying” presence, be it a thought, image or musical loop, become aware of the annoyance. This creates another layer which yet again must be peeled back for observation. If you can remain objective and not absorbed by the intrusion, the annoyance should not arise.
Your meditation is not your ego’s quest for perfection. Disturbances will come and go constantly during your meditation indefinitely. Seek to still your mind daily, even moment by moment, without a timetable. The ego’s need to conquer these musical loops only keeps your mind a slave to their intrusions. Resist the desire to judge how well you are doing. Just be still.
comments: As you know, there are people out there who do not know how to treat other people, e.g, people who commit street crimes and robbery. How do you get yourself to calm down if you are in a situation were you are threatened or you witness a street crime and you are fully pumped up with adrenalin and your mind is rushing at 100mph and centering yourself is very very difficult?
I get very angry and I begin to be filled with hatred for those people!! My girlfriend witnessed a street mugging and she told me about it and I just wanted to hurt them for what they did!! ”
Thank you for your comments. As you mention, “there are people out there who do not know how to treat other people”. This is very significant in that when one is truly aware of this, there will be no expectancy that another must respond and behave as you might respond. Expecting others to respond and behave as we might, will inevitably produce feelings of disappointment, resentment and ultimately even bitterness. These feelings disable us. When one remains present moment based and free of expectation; how can disappointment even arise?
Your ability to respond (response-ability) using all your inner resources, will depend on how centered you are BEFORE the action that requires a reaction occurs. If already off balance before the action occurs and then further pulled by impulsive emotional responses, your ability is greatly compromised. If you can develop the discipline of beginning each day by centering using meditation, you will be much more capable of the appropriate response in the moment.
Attempting to calm oneself after being knocked off balance is very difficult indeed. Witness someone imploring another to “relax!” when they are already in a highly stressed state. It often worsens rather than eases the situation. Better to bring them down gently from where they actually are.
“There are people out there who do not know how to treat other people”. Has it ever been any other way? There is nothing new under the sun. Have no expectations of how strangers may behave. When centered, you will know the appropriate response to any action on their part. Hate these people and you are hooked by and share in their hatred. It becomes you. Resent them and the resentment clouds your heart.
Concern yourself with the love you give and receive. Keep that flow unobstructed. Focus on how you treat others. Comfort and support your girlfriend through this traumatic experience. Protect her and help her to protect herself. Place your attention there. Be aware not to let hatred poison this process.
comments: Divine order, Divine love, in relationships, so you can endure an abusive marriage, using meditation.
Thank you for your topic suggestion. The order of grouping phrases in your suggestion feels as if they were chapters in a life story. I would like to approach these comments in a different manner than is the norm here. This response is intended to be direct and may appear harsh but necessary.
I feel this is a life capsulized. It strikes me in this manner: the writer (or who they are describing) is a deeply spiritual person (likely female) who has given herself to another completely with the promise that he was “the one”. The often bandied about but misunderstood soul mate. As their lives together unfolded, it became painfully apparent that the “other” was not a party to the same promise.
Nonetheless, the writer has a depth of commitment to the extent that they may perceive it is “God’s Will” to seek a deeper understanding of what appears on the surface to be a cruel game being played out.
Still convinced of this divine love match, there is a denial of the reality of abuse or it is viewed as somehow being a “test” of the writer’s commitment and support of their chosen partner’s struggle with their own demons. A struggle that somehow the writer has agreed is part of the deal taken on when they entered into this “divine union”.
An unwavering idea that they were led by divine influence to enter this particular union and since God is love, the commitment to the relationship necessarily involves a continued but perverted acceptance of abusive behavior of any kind.
After all, the promise that this spiritual union was “for better or for worse and ’til death do us part” meant just that didn’t it? Faced with the reality of wounds that never heal and the sure expectation of more suffering, the sincere writer attempts to use meditation as a buffer against the cruelties of this “unholy” union. Their intent is good, however something has gone awry in their direction.
Lets consider for one moment the obvious. This union is far from divine. I can feel the writer’s pain and steadfast attempts to find any solution but the obvious. I find the phrase “endure an abusive marriage, using meditation” terribly sad, yet I understand the writer’s desperate grasping to save what is not worthy of being saved. A cruel trick seemingly played on a sincere heart.
Meditation with proper motive will not allow you to “endure an abusive marriage” rather it will awaken you to a deep yearning to seek a true divine union with one who is able to hold up their part of the deal. One who will care for the other’s heart tenderly and both receive and protect it’s pureness.
The writer may not like what they witness during meditation, for it is likely in time to illuminate their own subtle but implicit involvement in this coupling. This may require brutal honesty but is essential to understand where the attraction lies. Were signals sent early on and not received due to a lack of awareness? Or were they received and ignored due to some exterior pressures? How can one now ensure that they don’t merely find the same spirit behind a different face?
With new found awareness and sincerity, the choice becomes clear. Continue in denial, or begin with both clarity and patience to take the steps that need to be taken in the here and now. This abuse is not to be tolerated any longer. Period.
Meditation is not a balm to be applied; rather a means of awakening to what truly is. Once viewed, you will see what is truly divine. First find it deep within yourself, then you may find it in and with another and the resulting bliss of such a union.
comments: Transcendental meditation along with yoga can improve the concentration of students.
Thank you for your comments. Any technique which creates an environment of stillness thereby allowing the student (or teacher for that matter) to increase their present moment awareness, will certainly improve their ability to concentrate.
As TM is really a personal choice, it would be best that the student (through experimentation) be allowed to find their most direct gateway to stillness and inner peace. One may try the technique located here or any variant of the core instructions provided.
This technique requires no previous meditation experience or spiritual leanings. Regardless of the belief system the user may carry (either digested or swallowed whole), all the technique asks of them is to clearly see what ‘is’.
Whatever the student ‘believes in’ is irrelevant because the technique merely centers the individual and enables them to observe their thoughts. Christian, Taoist, Buddhist, atheist et al…they will observe what they observe.
They will clearly see that they are not their thoughts; they merely are the witness to the thought. They will clearly see that the increased ability to remain still, witness and detach from the thought, allows freedom from enslavement to the thought.
What remains is the witness. When remaining in the eternal now as the witness, one is centered. One is not only concentrating, one IS concentration. True discovery ( the sense of aha! ) takes place in the now; free of prejudices, judgements and anticipations. In this ‘zone’ rote knowledge is replaced by genuine learning.
Be aware though, that as the student’s awareness increases, he/she is less likely to allow any type of teaching to be forced. They will only learn that for which they have a genuine interest. You may create a student who may question the value of what they are being taught. They will be less under the control of external circumstances and more inner directed. They will move about and have their being independent of the good (or otherwise) opinion of others.